nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
