Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
