She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
