Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
