I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
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