he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
