what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
