she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He passed out mid-signature
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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