Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
