We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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