I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
