Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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