Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
