They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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