I met the friendliest cop last night
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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