i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
