It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
