Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize