And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
