u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
