I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
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I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
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I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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