What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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