hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
