i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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