I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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