areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
