the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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