Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize