my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He? As in you personified your dick?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize