Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
