We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
