I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
