I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
