i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She said her name was "party"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
