i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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