; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i wish my penis had a tongue
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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