He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
