Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
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September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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