Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize