the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
