***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
