tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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