why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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