We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
