Betty ford says i'm here all night
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
