Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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