What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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