just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
