Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I checked into jail on foursquare
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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