I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
