new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
