can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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