Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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