let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
