I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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