My entire life is one complicated drinking game
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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