I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
