I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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