I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
