some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
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Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
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"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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