I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
