Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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