Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
