i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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