When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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