I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
