I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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