i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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