I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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